Fantasy Film Review: The Legend of Hercules

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

This is the first of two Hercules movies releasing in theaters this year. The Legend of Hercules is from Millennium Films, the same production company that brought us the remake of Conan the Barbarian a few years ago.

I would classify this as a "Period Superhero" movie. It was an origin story for the mythological Hercules. The Greek setting was made to look very much like it was in the movie 300. The costumes could have been borrowed directly from that film. It is not historically, or even mythologically, accurate. But, when it comes to fantasy film, I don't take those things into account. It's a story of myth and fantasy, in which the writers took creative license.

This installment of the Hercules legend strays from most other interpretations. There is no questing, no labors, no helping the average person as a hero for the common man, as in the myth and in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, which is where most people will be familiar with Hercules. This Hercules is not a selfless hero. He is the prince of a Greek kingdom who falls in love with the Princess of Crete. When the princess is betrothed to his older brother, Hercules is betrayed and left for dead in far-off Egypt. His only goal is to reclaim his princess and live happily ever after, but he ends up having to save his kingdom from his brother and step-father.

It seems that the only reason this movie made it to theatrical release (as opposed to direct to DVD) is the script. This is a surprisingly well-written film. For what it is (a superhero action-adventure), it is just about perfectly written. The story is structured with three well-defined acts, and the dialogue isn't too corny. The nature of the story is melodramatic, so a little over-the-top dialogue can be forgiven, but the writers stayed away from cliché lines or groan-inducing proclamations like "You will pay for this!". The characters are written well, with motivations well developed, especially for Hercules's mother, the Princess, and Hercules's older brother. Hercules himself has a singular purpose, which is appropriate for a heroic character in a melodrama. It is only near the end that something happens to the story and there are elements tacked on in the third act that detract from the story and characters. Among these are the suddenly improbable actions of the villain that are only there to spur on Hercules (who really needs no further motivation) and create a larger battle scene at the climax.

This is all the strength the movie has, though. Under the guidance of director Renny Harlan (Die Hard 2, Cutthroat Island), the acting is only average at best from a B- and C-list cast including Kellan Lutz (Twilight) as Hercules, Gaia Weiss as Princess Hebe, and Scott Adkins (Expendables 2, Zero Dark Thirty) as the evil King Amphitryon. The "breakout" performance comes from Roxanne McKee (Game of Thrones), who plays Hercules's mother, Queen Alcmene. She had some impactful scenes that stood out among the other performances. Still, the acting overall was sub-par, but not horrible.

The fight scenes were well-choreographed. However, the editor/director insisted on punctuating the action with freeze-frames and slow-moes (a la 300) that distracted from the action. The fight scenes would have been a lot more exciting without these artificial camera tricks.

All the violence was bloodless. This surprised me and at first I was pleased by it. I've been sickened before by movies like Gladiator and 300 with too much blood and it was refreshing for a movie which is so similar is tone and story not to follow suit with blood splatters like fountains. The violence was just as brutal as any other gladiator movie; when an enemy is eviscerated, you expect to see some blood. But the only blood seen here is what is left on bodies and clothing after the violence has been done. Many times not even that. Because of this, this movie may be considered suitable for older children (13+).

Other effects were only average. Animated effects like lightning were cheesy and poorly produced. It seemed the entire effects budget was spent on the sequence seen in the trailer where Hercules tosses around a pair of stone blocks on chains. This sequence is about 30-45 seconds long and is a key moment in the story, so the money was well spent. People in 3D theaters should be thrilled by it. I can't speak to the 3D quality, however, as I saw it in 2D. The fight scenes were obviously filmed for 3D, however, so it might be worth seeing.

Overall, this was a well-written story with less than perfect execution. It wasn't painful to watch in the least and was actually enjoyable for the majority. The fight scenes were well-put together, with the final fight scene a little improbable, but exciting nonetheless. It had lots of romance, especially toward the beginning and end and should be a fun flick to see on a date-night for fantasy fans (trust me, ladies, you'll enjoy the scenery).

OVERALL SCORE: 6 of 10

The Gods of Earth, Sun, & Moon

A new world, a new story for 2014.

I grew up largely on my own, as a child. I had an older brother, but he moved out when I was young. For a long time, I felt like an only child. A few years ago, while deciding on topics for stories, I decided to explore the relationship between two siblings who are very close, but through tragedy, are torn apart for years, forced to live their own lives in very different situations. Would they still be as close as they once were when they are finally reunited?  Placing this concept on a backdrop of religious conflict and cosmic secrets, I came up with my newest trilogy.

The Gods of Earth, Sun, & Moon, an enormous epic fantasy, will be told in three parts:

The Light of Theolan (Summer 2014)

In the village of Zedren, a stranger has come. 

Fleeing a fate so terrible he has lost everything he has, Parke Farmer has come to live in the simple village that is so far from where he has come. Married to a Zedrani woman and the proud father of teenage twins, Braden and Brynn, Parke is haunted by feelings that, one day, his past will come back to haunt him.

And return it does, in the form of a shining Paladin. Wielding the magical Light of Theolan, Jerid Geros accuses Parke of the foul murder of his own brother -- and Jerid's father -- a high ranking priest of Theolan. The result is a tragedy that destroys Zedren and tears apart the lives of Parke's twin children.

Braden finds himself Jerid's captive and, as the secret of his father's past is revealed, he discovers he has a grand destiny among the Theolars, the followers of the God of Light, Theolan.

When Braden discovers a hidden evil within the church of Theolan, he must convince Jerid to turn against the only family he has ever known and fight for the Light of Theolan.

Brynn has been so damaged by the events of Jerid's coming that she seeks answers within the mysterious chamber underneath the mystical Shield, an artifact of the Earth Mother, Zedren's patron goddess. Within the chamber, Brynn discovers a secret hidden for millenia that leads her on a path toward her own destiny.

The Servants of Aeve (Fall/Winter 2014)

Brynn and Braden, both believing the other dead, live their own lives amongst very different people.

After discovering the secret of the Earth Mother, Aeve, Brynn must unite the people of Zedren against the coming of the Theolar army.

Taking her place as High Priestess of Aeve will not be easy. As the daughter of an outsider who betrayed the village, she has never been trusted by the survivors of the Paladin's coming. 

It will take miracles to make it happen; miracles the weakened goddess may not have the power to produce. The key may lie beneath the Shield, where an ancient civilization long forgotten waits to be re-awakened.

As Braden and Jerid seek out the nature of the darkness within the church, the High Priest, Vasilis, begins his war of conversion, spreading the Word of Theolan through force of arms.

But there is a third power rising in the land. An ancient name from Theolar's past has returned, decrying the church and fighting back against the Theolar army.

Captured by these rebels, everything Braden and Jerid think they know about their fathers will change.

The Eye of Night (Spring 2015)

The deadly Paladin, Jerid, returns to Zedren, accompanied by a familiar man, now a priest of Theolan.

The reunion of Braden and Brynn accompanies the three-sided war between Theolars, the rebellion, and the world. Caught in the middle is the little village of Zedren, the last remaining bastion of the Earth Mother, with the Shield the last lock on the prison of an evil older than Theolar.

When the Zedrani Shield is destroyed, the last lock will be broken and the gate to hell will be thrown open to release the Eye of Night.

Can twin siblings on opposite sides of the war protect the Shield and uncover the secret of the Gods of Earth, Sun, and Moon?

Classic Movie Review: Time Bandits

Yeah, I took a couple weeks off for the holidays, but I'm back at it now. This week, since there wasn't a new fantasy movie to review (I love you guys, but I am not sitting through 47 Ronin just to tell you how bad it is), I'm going to review one of my childhood favorites: Time Bandits!

Time Bandits is a time travel romp from the mind of the grand master of weird, Terry Gilliam (Brazil, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Twelve Monkeys). Its tone is more akin to Gilliam's work with Monty Python than anything else, especially the first third of the movie. Many of the scenes play like individual Monty Python skits, Its also very kid friendly, almost to the point of giving in to sheer silliness.

The main plot centers around six dwarves and their theft of a map that allows them to time travel by showing them where holes in the universe exist. It belongs to the Supreme Being (Ralph Richardson — Dragonslayer), so of course Evil (David Warner — Tron) wants it. The dwarves just want to use it to steal from famous people like Napolean (Ian Holm — Lord of the Rings).

The main character is a boy, Kevin, who has accidentally found himself stuck with the dwarves on their adventure. He spends a lot of the movie trying to convince the dwarves to stop their thieving. But when they get into trouble, it's Kevin who gets them out of it. Kevin is in this for the adventure. He doesn't want to go home. His family is boring and they really just want him to go to bed on time. There isn't very much character development or change here. Kevin doesn't change as a person or decide he likes his home and family.

There really doesn't seem to be a point to the movie at all, except to have a bit of fun. No great questions are explored (except when Kevin asks the Supreme Being about the nature of evil: God's response is one of the funniest lines in the movie), only the trouble that seven people can get into while hopping from place to place through magical portals.

As a kid, I loved this movie. It was always on my to-see list and I never got to see it enough. Now, as an adult, I'm put off a bit by the mindlessness of it. It plays as some sort of dream, all the way until the final credits. Nothing really makes sense, the editing was horrible and the events were disjointed and didn't really have a bearing on the finale. Much of the dialogue was silly:

Evil: "I have the map! And the day after tomorrow: the world!"

Mom to Dad: "If you were a real man, you would have gone back in [to a burning house] for the blender."

This is definitely a film for children ages seven and up. There are a couple of scary scenes, but nothing bloody. But be careful of the ending. For very young children you might have to explain a few things by the time the credits roll.

Overall score: 8 out of 10 (for children), 6 out of 10 (for adults)

—This movie does not age well at all.—